Broken but Redeemed Intro

Welcome to my blog! I have considered starting my own blog for a couple of years, but somehow I always managed to talk myself out of it. "I won't be able to do it perfectly" is one of the thoughts that replayed itself over and over in my head. I am your classic Type A perfectionist, but I have finally decided to push those fears aside and take the plunge! Writing has been a passion of mine since middle school so many of you are thinking "it's about time," while others are thinking "YOU?? a blog? really??" Well, all I can say is that it will be an adventure - a messy one - and I look forward to it!

Broken but Redeemed truly is the most accurate title I could have come up with. I went back and forth for a few weeks about what I should title it and honestly, I was getting pretty frustrated (here we go again with that perfection thing). However, as events unfolded in my life during that time only about a month ago, it was as if God said, "here you go - use this!" and so I did! 

As believers in Jesus for our salvation, we are all broken but redeemed! I don't have it all together. I have wished I did. I have acted like I do. I have even prayed that I would! I have spent my entire life trying to "fix myself" even while I was pretending to have it all together. (Yes I know, a little crazy huh?!) I grew up in a broken and law-based home, was introduced 
to the grace of God when I was 19 (through my wonderful friends Ron and Caelin Baker) 
and that is when God grabbed hold of my heart. While I then KNEW who God truly was, the following nine years have been extremely messy! 

It is my desire on this blog to honestly share some of my journey with you. The struggle of the Christian life. The questions. The doubts. The fears. For me to LIVE OUT the tension between "sinful/broken girl on this earth" while also being a "loved/redeemed child of God made for eternity" is challenging to say the very least! It just makes no sense in my head! Just take a look at the definitions of the words "broken, sinful and redeemed" and you will see what I mean... 

~Broken... having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or working order; crushed, fragmented; having given up all hope; despairing.
~Sinful... having broken the perfect law of God; wicked; immoral; missing the standard of perfection established by God.
~Redeemed... atone or make amends for; save someone from sin, error, evil; do something that 
compensates for poor past performance or behavior.

Really God?! What amazing grace that really is! This is the good news of the Gospel, but it stresses me out even though it isn't supposed to! That, in a nutshell, is the struggle of my moments, my days, my life. I have recently found two songs that are now my "anthems" as I struggle to live a grace-filled life. You can listen to them below and I have written out my favorite words in each song:

1. All the Broken Pieces by Matthew West 

So much for the perfect life
So much for the perfect day
It's like no matter how you try
Perfection's just too far away

Did you hear what I said?
Did you read the words I wrote down in red?
I was broken once for you
And no one loves you like I do

And that's the beauty of this grace
It can put the pieces back in place
And shine reflections of forgiveness
In a million different ways

2. Greater by Mercy Me

Bring your tired
And bring your shame
Bring your guilt
And bring your pain
Don’t you know that’s not you’re name
You will always be much more to me

Bring your doubts
And bring your fears
Bring your hurt
And bring your tears
There’ll be no condemnation here
You are holy, righteous and redeemed

There’ll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn’t matter